8:37pm in Rotterdam.

I am befriended by a solitary candle tonight. It’s 8:37pm (in Rotterdam) which means it is 5:38am in Brisbane and 2:38am in Vietnam. It’s strange how the loneliest hours of the day and night can change depending on where you are in the world.

Each of my days through the week has been similar lately. There’s a consistency to it that I find comfort in.

Travel, to me, can be a form of escape, externally and internally. When you travel to new places in the world, it is as though you are able to explore new rooms in your own house. No matter how many places you go or how many new kinds of people make you laugh, you still trundle the same heavy luggage of ‘self’ around. While having the courage to step outside of your normal self, your normal comfort zone that is, you must also have the courage to sit with yourself in new places. So here I am, sitting with my ‘self’ and this candle.

This is in fact one of the rare times that I could be described as feeling alone on the other side of the world. I never used to like the word, “lonely”. The word feels like it is weakness itself. No one ever wants to admit, “I feel lonely”. Perhaps if re-phrased, you could find strength in the word and what it means.

“I have the courage to sit with myself”.

“I have the courage to be silent with myself”.

There’s almost a particular craftsmanship that comes with sitting with yourself. In this world where we are always moving, we always have something to be, silence and the will to be uncomfortable is quite the admirable mastery.

But what do I know, I am afterall, spending my night with a candle.